I’ve been quiet since COVID. My originally planned content no longer felt appropriate, and I couldn’t find any other words until now.
You might see “Sunday’s coming” and think, "Kerstin, you silly, Sunday was yesterday!" I know! As we all celebrate Easter a little differently this year, I was hoping to share this earlier but let's be honest…toddlers rule the quarantine schedule these days so here we are ;)
On this Saturday we sit in between the mourning of Good Friday and the joy of Easter Sunday. It’s an in-between day often overlooked, but for me it's become one of the most profound of Holy Week.
Walk with me for a second. Imagine life the day after Jesus’ death. They weren’t aware of the resurrection that would come in the days to follow, they could only see the present. While there is no scripture to detail this day, we’re left to envision His family, friends, disciples and followers waking up thinking, "did that really happen? Is this real?” They’re devastated, wishing it were a bad dream. The disciples are alone, hiding out, afraid for their safety. They’re overwhelmed with questions, uncertainty, grief, disappointment, and a whole lot of fear.
They’re trying to find their bearings, wrap their heads around how their lives and plans have just changed, waiting to see what happens next.
Does this sound familiar?
The last few weeks of COVID might feel a bit like the very first Saturday before Easter. A month ago, life as we know it got cancelled. No one could anticipate this happening. And if we’re among the lucky ones, we’ve been self-isolating in our homes safely with our families and….
We’re waiting. We’re questioning. We’re filled with uncertainty and at times, anxiety and fear.
We’re grieving the cancelled proms, graduation ceremonies, weddings, baby showers, birthday parties, fertility treatments, concerts, sports games, lost jobs, and lost lives. We’re grieving our togetherness, our old normals.
But this isn’t all.
Some of you may have found yourself in “the first Saturday” stage long before COVID came around as you endure your own battles.
In this life we are no stranger to waiting, uncertainty, and disappointment. This is the Saturday of our story.
But friends, Sunday is coming.
God never stops working. Through the crucifixion. Through a global pandemic. And through whatever battle you’re fighting. We may be “stuck” in quarantine but God is still doing his thing.
The disciples had no idea that Jesus would rise into heaven on Sunday.
But God! God did.
We can’t see it. We probably don’t feel it. But God’s rubbing his hands in excitement, like loved ones waiting for you to walk into your surprise party. He’s saying, “You have no idea all the goodness I have in store for you. You have no idea that the tomb will be empty. You have no idea how great it will feel to reunite with family, friends, and the isles of Target after this pandemic. You have no idea how I will create goodness from this awful season you’re in.”
A few years ago we were mourning the “should-have-been” due date of our first baby. We had spent the last 7-8 months walking through grief, watching others get pregnant, doing our best to be happy for them but heartbroken over our own situation. We felt forgotten and alone, and unfortunately it's not a unique story. A few weeks after that due date we saw the two pink lines we’d been praying for in a positive pregnancy test. Shortly after, I attended a women’s conference and even amidst fear and uncertainty for this new pregnancy, the lyrics of the first song started to redeem our struggle:
“There wasn’t a day that you weren’t by my side. There wasn’t a day that you let me fall. All of my life your love has been true. You are faithful, faithful to the end.” (Faithful to the End, Bethel Music)
This is easy to sing on the Sunday of your story, when the battle has been won and your mountain has been conquered. You can often look back and see God’s hand in it. You can see that you weren’t alone, that there’s goodness that came from the heartache.
This is quite harder to believe in the middle of the Saturday, but is something we need to be reminded of.
He’s working. He’s got it. Even when we don’t feel it, He’s working.
So if you’re feeling defeated under the weight of this crisis or another battle you’re facing, lean into it. Those feelings are valid. Maybe you’ve had moments where it’s just all too much to handle.
But it’s not too much for Him.
Sunday is coming, and until then, He’s right by our side.
Happy Easter from our family to yours. I hope this perspective and the joy of resurrection Sunday gives you hope for all that lies ahead. If you’re stuck in a Saturday, I hope this message is the virtual hug to remind you: Sunday’s coming.
Love, Kerstin and the Esser fam
(Michael, sweet baby Ray, Tiger-dog, and baby on the way)
